Happy Holidays everyone

I have been busy with the family but I promise I have not forgotten about my blog. Its a hard subject to blog about. I will be posting soon with a longer post but I wanted to wish everyone happy healthy holidays. May your bedrest keep baby cooking as long as possible. May your husbands/friends/family be helpful through this tough time. As always lots of prayers to all the babies cooking away in the baby oven- keep cooking babies.

The Guilt Complex...

Being labeled high risk often comes with a fair amount of guilt. I felt guilty for not being able to maintain my pregnancy, for putting my child in harms way. I worried with every trip to a doctors appointment. I feared that they would tell me I had dilated even more, or my cervix had shortened more then it already had. I worried I had done something to put myself in PTL. I constantly sought out the risk factors to see what it was that I did wrong. I timed my constant contractions and often had my cell phone in hand ready to call the Dr.

I felt overwhelmed with guilt at times. I just couldn't believe that my body would let my baby down like it did. Then after I had a healthy Little man in my arms I felt a sense of relief. At last I had him! Soon after he was born the nurse asked if I wanted to breastfeed him. I did. From the start Little man had it down, the perfect latch, he was a natural!

At his 1st Dr's appointment he had lost too much weight and I was told to supplement him with formula. It was disappointing but not the worst thing in the world. The plan was I would pump to build my supply and I figured my boobs would regulate it somehow. I had thought he would back to exclusively drinking breast milk in no time. This was not to be.

Despite many efforts to power pump, drinking Mothers Milk tea, and a few other things suggested to me, my supply tanked. This brought on guilt complex number two - my body is a disaster. At a little over 3 months I can't even pump a drop of breast milk for my baby. Formula isn't the worst thing in the world for a baby and I know that. Its just a feeling that I am failing as a mother, an overwhelming guilt.

This guilt happens to all of us. If it is ever a problem for you seek help. There is no shame in asking for help. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who helps me see everyday that we have a beautiful happy healthy son and there is nothing that matters beyond that.

I'd like to share a few letters that I wrote while on bedrest...

Dear Irritable Uterus,

Here we are on the 4th of July in the hospital. Awesome.Whats the matter Uterus? I can see from the monitors we are hooked to that you look pretty upset. Why don't you calm the $#%! down so we can go home.

Love,
The rest of body your attached to.
______

Dear Cervix,

Bedrest? Really? Because this is where I wanted to spend my summer. Between you and my irritable uterus I'm on a first name basis with the entire L&D department. Please stop dilating so I can stop stressing out.

Love,
Irritable uterus and the rest of the body.

Sharing our stories

After a hard fought battle (oops I mean pregnancy) with my incompetent cervix I felt the need to blog. I needed to let others know they aren't alone. I'd like to provide anyone who is following this blog with two more blogs doing the same. This first one is following a mom through her second pregnancy after being high risk and having a preemie. Her blog Confessions of a High Risk Mom is one I am following for sure! The other blog I'd like to recommend is hopefully one that not many will need. The Preemie Resource Blog is an amazing gathering of several stories including NICU journeys, breastfeeding advice and many other useful tips and info. I must say that this blog has been particularly useful to me a few times as well even though LittleMan was full term.

My "day out"

While I was on bedrest my favorite day of the week was the day I had an appointment. It seems sad and pathetic now- and it seemed just as bad back then but it was a change! I looked forward to getting dressed for a reason. It was a change instead of staying in my pj's or sweatpants (which were about the only things that fit). It was a reason for putting on makeup. I always looked forward to the drive because I would go through the Dunkin Donuts drive thru and get myself a decaf iced coffee and a donut. Just something to break the monotony of bedrest.

I remember there was one week after I had been on bedrest for quite a while and they were talking to me about possibly taking me off some of my restrictions. I was so excited to go in and hear what I would be allowed to do. I remember getting there and they took my blood pressure and of course, it was high. They made me lie down and took it again- still high. After they took it a 3rd time it was clear I was still on strict bed rest and now subject to even more testing.

I was angry. Angry at my body for failing to maintain a healthy pregnancy, angry with the Dr, the nurses, with life, with well everything at that point! If I was going home to more strict bedrest there was no way I was going home without a treat for myself. I wanted subway. It was the one thing I could do that would make my day a little better.

I remember driving across the street for my sandwich. I pulled up in front of subway and there was a sign that said "Closed for construction". That set it off. I was an emotional wreck! I started sobbing in my car in the middle of the road. Subway was located in a complex so there wasn't a ton of traffic but people did have to go around me, lol. People were looking at me like I was a lunatic. If anyone had asked me why I was crying they probably would have called the police to have my mental health evaluated. I'm sure the only thing I would have told them at point was that I was hysterical because "Suh-Suh-Suuuhbwaaay is CLOSED!!!" Never-mind that there was one a block away, I was inconsolable.

May your 'day out' where ever it be too, always go better then my trip to subway. :)

Freebies

Here is another list of freebies from the MoneySavingMom blog! I love this blog so much I can't even tell you. Every time I sign up for freebies I get awesome coupons.

Helpful links

Sorry for not posting for a few days. We had an eventful few days. My sister came to visit (we live far from each other so it was a big deal). Then little man had an allergic reaction to something- but we still have no clue what it was. Thankfully that wasn't that big of a deal and he recovered very quickly.

Today I wanted to share some links that may be helpful.
Sidelines Non-profit for complicated pregnancies and premature births
Bedrest Checklist- (from Sidelines)Take this to your Dr as a guide for your activity level on bedrest
17P info (from Sidelines)
Gestational Diabetes (from Sidelines)
Preterm Labor (from Sidelines)
Pregnant with multiples (from Sidelines)
March of Dimes
ADA Gestational Diabetes page
Baby Center Gestational Diabetes page
Baby Center Bedrest page
Baby Center Preclampsia page
Baby Center Preterm labor page
Baby Center IUGR page
Baby Center Placenta Previa Page
Baby Center Placental Abruption page
Baby Center Excessive Amniotic Fluid Page
Baby Center Cervical Insufficiency page
Preeclampsia Foundation

Quick Meals

I will not claim you can "cook" while on bedrest. I am suggesting you can make a meal for your family.
Buy precooked meats, or cuts that can be cooked in the crock pot. Use microwavable meals, I personally loved Hormel Refrigerated entrees which cook in about 4 minutes. Take advantage of your grocery store's bakery for things like dinner rolls. Keep your ingredients to a minimum. It means less time standing in your kitchen assembling. Use canned soups and precut fruit and veggies as shortcuts. They make frozen vegetable's in steamable bags that cook in about 4-6 minutes. There are even complete meals that will cook like the steamable veggies.

I should mention that my wonderful husband usually cleaned up after the meals. There are several things I did to keep cleaning as easy as possible. We used paper plates and disposable utensils. I am normally more Eco-friendly but this was a situation where I didn't mind being a little wasteful. They also make slow cooker liners which I highly suggest using. These are just a few ideas I hope you find helpful.

When bedrest gets depressing

I struggled with my emotions while I was on bedrest. A lot.

I felt like a failure as a woman because I couldn't keep my baby baking without medical intervention. I was so upset at the thought of him being early. I agonized over the health issues that he could face. I cried because I felt useless and trapped. I was upset because I thought my husband could never find me attractive on days when I couldn't stand up long enough to put on make up or do my hair, or even change out of my pj's. I was miserable because my house was a mess and I couldn't clean it. I wanted food but I couldn't cook. I was sick of TV but I couldn't leave the house.

At some points I was just plain angry. Why was this happening to me? I waited to get pregnant until I had finished school and had a decent job. I felt I had done virtually everything right (not that there is a right way or wrong way). To add insult to injury I had trouble getting pregnant in the first place, and now I can't even handle carrying my child to term? I had taken so many pregnancy tests that came back negative that I didn't bother to try another until my husband suspected I might be pregnant. I was shocked when I saw a positive. So shocked I took two more tests and then went to the OB before we both actually believed it. That was the part about being high risk that hurt the most. It was how incredibly bad I had wanted Little Man, how I didn't think we would ever have him, and then to face so many uncertainties. It was heart-wrenching.

Pregnancy hormones certainly don't help the situation. The worst part is the isolation though. Lucky for our generation we are more connected then ever. Take advantage of this- Skype, Facebook, Tweet, go on message boards, or call someone.

Bedrest can definitely leave you depressed. That's precisely why I wanted to start my blog. Don't be afraid to reach out, don't feel alone. You are not alone, there are plenty who have been there or are there right now.

Are you staying hydrated?

Dehydration can cause contractions. Its important to stay hydrated especially while pregnant. When I was pregnant I became dehydrated and ended up in the emergency room. I found it hard to drink water all day so I ate a ton of watermelon and cantaloupe as snack foods. I also ate cereal for breakfast and soups for lunch.

A big help to me was to have a container of whatever I wanted to drink (usually a gallon jug- although be careful to set it where you don't have to lift it to drink from it if you do this- use a straw) and mark it in 3rds. Then I set my cell phone's alarm to go off every so often and made it a goal to have 1/3 gone in say for example 3 hrs. If you keep track of your progress its much easier to stay ahead of the dehydration.

Anyone else have useful tips to keep dehydration at bay?

My friend the DVR

Why is it there is never anything good on TV when all you can do is watch TV, surf the internet or read a book. Daytime TV is awful, I mean AWFUL. There was nothing that I wanted to watch besides Rachel Ray's talk show in the morning. For a few days I became obsessed with CNN (partly because I couldn't figure out how Don Lemon was in his 40's, he looks like he's 22 years old) but that quickly wore off.

One of my smarter moves on bedrest was recording anything and everything that I would find interesting. I under normal circumstances didn't record a lot, only shows I really loved and I never recorded reruns. Once on bedrest that quickly changed. If something was on at 3 o'clock in the morning and I was sleeping usually I would assume it would play again. Now I would record anything so I'd have it when I could no longer take staring at my computer screen or I had finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the 4th time. Now in the morning when all that was on TV was QVC highlighting the latest fashions from the Quaker Factory and I was about to lose it *light bulb* THE DVR! Seriously, I loved that thing. I DVR'ed every Harry Potter movie that played on TV, Psych, Burn Notice, NCIS, and the Soup.

Strict Bedrest

Strict bedrest is awful. I was jealous of those allowed to go down stairs. I would have loved to do laundry- something I would have never ever said before bedrest. I was initally given the green light to do light shopping once a week when I first was in preterm labor. After I ended up in the hospital for several days though everything about my Dr's orders became much more strict. After I had little man this resulted in a two hour Target trip. I filled 2 shopping carts full of stuff I had been so eager to buy but didn't trust to my husband (Ex. nursing bras). My point is your sanity is even more likely to go out the door the more strict you have it.

Here are some things to consider:

Shop online for baby items you still need.
Check to see if your grocery store has a delivery service (Giant uses Peapod in my area)
Check out sites like DoortoDoorOrganics.com for delivery of fresh veggies and fruit
If you have the cash, hire a cleaning service to do a small cleaning of your house
Sign up for deal sites to see if a cleaning service in your area comes up
Try a new hobby- I picked up knitting using Youtube!
Learn a language- seriously the internet is vast and awesome
Have a career that requires continuing education?- try earning your CEU's online
Try watching some new shows
Have netflix? Search for movies, there are a lot that don't just pop up in the categories
Order take out- its nice to have warm food you didn't have to cook/when you can't cook
Have someone rent you some movies
Do your hair/make up/nails
Invite friends over
Have a 'virtual' baby shower if you need to- use skype!
Or bring your baby shower to you if you can
Sign up on all the baby formula and diaper websites- Hello coupons!
Have someone bring you trashy celeb magazines
Read a book before you can't because there is a screaming baby


Feel free to add suggestions in the comments.

Bedrest on a holiday.

 I know what a bummer it is to be stuck on bedrest during a holiday. The second time I was in PTL it was the 4th of July. It sucked. I sympathize I really do. I wanted to be outside at a picnic or at the very least just to be outside! I am sure you want to be anywhere but your bed.


My best advice is to keep your head held high and remember that you are doing this to keep your little one safe. Always take bed rest day by day, don't turn down visitors, ask for help when you need it, and remember the "I am keeping my baby safe" mantra!

Getting money back while shopping.

I'm going to keep it short and simple today. I shop at Target. Why? Because I earn gift cards for my purchases. I have a stash of gift cards in my wallet totaling $25 dollars from the last 6 weeks.

Shopping at Target is one of the easiest ways for me to save money. They have deals all the time where if you buy two products you can earn a $5 or $10 dollar gift card. Just look in this weeks flyer. The deals are usually on diapers and formula so it works out very well when you start to need that sort of stuff! You can also get rebates on various products (breast pumps are a big one for getting rebates) so watch for those.

Spending savy and finding freebies.

While on bedrest I had time to evaluate the way I was shopping. It was not effective. I never made lists. I bought on impulse. I never had a budget for the month or for my shopping trip. I had never considered coupons or sales. I knew though that I wanted things like paper towels, toilet paper, diapers, wipes, frozen meals all stock piled to last us the first few weeks after my son was born. I designated a place in our hall closet to house our 4-6 weeks worth stock of life's little essentials.

When I was first put on bedrest I started surfing the web. I stumbled onto message boards about budgeting. I found links to tools I never considered using to help me keep track of money, to help me plan meals, to create grocery lists, that listed sales prices ect.

I also found blogs to help me effectively take advantage of sales and coupons and often times links to freebies. I signed up for every free sample of formula and diaper and baby product I could. If I did it often meant a coupon or several coupons came with the item.

If your put on bedrest and worried about money I suggest you make a budget if you don't have one. I use Mint.com but there are several tools out there. Make sure that they are legitimate before you give any old website your information though. First consider how much you have spent on things like food, gas, utilities, over the last several months to determine the average. Then consider if your spending too much. If you are, see where you can cut back.

I make a food and shopping budget for the month. I divide that by four to give me a rough idea of what I want to spend weekly. While I was on bedrest I'd take (or later I'd send my husband) on 1 small shopping trip a week I have kept this habit up ever since- its easier because we always end up needing to make a weekly run for milk and eggs.

Every week on Sunday I had someone pick me up a paper. You don't need a paper but you get the bonus of the coupons. Target, Walmart and your grocery store probably have their weekly sales ad posted online. I liked the paper because I would read through the sales ads and circle the products. Then I used that to create my list. After that I went through the grocery store flyer to determine what was on sale and what meals I could make from those sale items. I tried to keep my meals as easy to make as possible- that didn't always allow for sale items.

I considered my coupons and stacked them with sales where I could. I do admit at the store I would look over the clearance items but I stayed sitting in my little electric cart and I didn't spend a lot of time looking. If you are allowed a day to go grocery shopping save your sanity and TAKE IT !! but don't take forever and do not stand if you are told not to, use an electric cart. Don't forget to make and take along a list!

Write down what the price is when you get a good deal on an excel sheet or in a notebook. I had a list of products like angel soft, bounty, pasta, Pepsi, and the best price I could get these items. This way I knew when to stock up. I found if I waited long enough I could get pasta for 50c and Pepsi for $1.90 a 12 pack. I was able to create our stock as cheap as possible this way. You don't need a hoard but its nice to have a stock for the 1st few weeks with your new baby.

Finally I suggest you surf the web for links to freebies and sign up on all the formula, diaper and baby product websites. They will send you samples and coupons. Even if you don't plan on using them you can trade them at your local mommy groups for ones you do or you could donate them to your local homeless shelter.You can find links to coupons, freebies and the best sales for the week on some of the popular deal-finder blogs.

Learning to cope Part 3: Money

I was incredibly lucky to be able to work from home, and I know that. It not only helped with the bills but it helped to keep my sanity. I kept me sane when I was tired of TV, the internet, the color of the wall of my bedroom, my curtains and the feeling of being a prisoner in my own home.

At the hospital I was determined though, that if I did not have that option I would find some way to contribute. So again I thought of all the ways I could make things work for me while I was on bed rest. The key is to get creative. I decided I would with help, use craigslist, ebay, and maybe have a garage sale. I would purge my closet (and my husbands) of clothes I didn't wear. I would sell any books I had around the house that I had already read and no longer wanted. I list things things we no longer used but could sell that were sitting in our basement or garage. Never do this without help. I made a list of things that I knew we had but didn't use. I sent my mom or my husband to take pictures of it and I created my ad and posted it online.

Let me say that these things may not amount to a lot of money but I sold a dog crate we were storing in the basement but no longer needed for $50 on craigslist. That money could cover our electric bill for one month. I had made some extra cash while on bedrest and it was a satisfying feeling.

For additional money making ideas you could try selling crafts of Etsy, listing on Fiverr or selling photos on istockphoto. You could also try selling china crystal or silver to Replacements, Ltd.

Learning to cope Part 2: Meal planning

Feeding my family was one of the 1st things on my mind. How would I do this when I wasn't allowed out of bed for more then 10 minutes at a time? Its easier then you think. It just requires a bit of creative thinking, using tons of shortcuts and planning ahead. For me it meant going grocery shopping once a week, with a small list, using one of the electric carts. I stuck to my list, did not stop to look at other products and only went while most people would be at work. I also requested assistance getting the bags to my car and with heavy items.

To make things easy I stuck to one store, looked at their weekly flyer and formed my meals around sale items. Most of my meals were crock pot meals or microwavable meals. I used shortcuts like steamable bagged veggies, pre-made salads, the store's rotisserie chicken, and cuts of meat easy to crock pot.

After I was admitted to the hospital I had to pass my grocery shopping onto my husband. My best advice for sending husbands who don't normal do the shopping is to make them a list and keep it simple. If you want a certain brand and size right it down but don't expect that to be what you get.

For me planning my families meals and creating the grocery list kept me occupied. Continuing to make meals for our family made me feel useful when my husband seemed to be carrying out the brunt of the chores in our house on top of going to work full-time. 

I kept a stash of snacks for myself and my husband. I had a place by the bed for mine so I didn't have to get up and I didn't need to rely on anyone to bring them to me. There are lots of prepackaged snacks out there. I kept them in reach and kept a variety on hand. I also froze bottles of water and juice. In the mornings I brought some back in a small cooler (to catch condensation and keep them cold) so I'd have something cold to drink throughout the day. Sometimes I'd stash some of my cold snacks with them in the morning to enjoy later too.

Learning to cope Part : Panic sets in

Upon hearing the term "Bed Rest" I went into panic mode. Who would do the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking? What am I suppose to do all day? What will I do about work? Little man's room, oh dear lord little man's room is no where near ready!

After spending time in the hospital thinking about what I would do, I formulated a plan. I would continue to feed my family with simple meals that required little to no effort on my part. Planning them would keep me sane, making them would make me feel useful. I would call work, talk to them about working from home (I am so so sooo fortunate that they allowed me). If  I couldn't work from home I would exhaust every resource I had to save money and bring in some cash. I would enjoy my time, and attempt to keep myself from feeling like my bedroom was a prison.

So when you get the dreaded order for bed-rest first and foremost ladies, DO NOT PANIC! Stress is not good for you and for goodness sake your already on bed-rest! ;) Learn what kind of bed-rest you are being placed on, and what you are allowed to do, and what is forbidden. Follow Dr's orders, you want your baby to stay in the baby oven as long as possible. Most of my tips will be geared towards those on a "Modified Bed-rest" but I hope everyone can take something from my words.

Initially my bed rest wasn't that strict and I was allowed 1 day out to go grocery shopping. After I had ended up in the hospital for three days, trying to stop my labor and my bed-rest was suddenly a much stricter version of modified bed-rest. I was allowed up for a short shower, and up for 10 minutes or less a few times a day. I was instructed to stay off the stairs if I could avoid it. I was also instructed not to lift anything heavier then my cat. Why my cat? I have no idea, that was just the example they used. For the record she is 9lbs. Basically I was to remain in bed 95% of my time. Clearly I, and everyone who had/is currently on or will be placed on bed-rest in the future, we are all up for a mentally and emotionally challenging time.

My Pre-Term Labor story.

My husband and I found out we were having our 1st child back in January 2011 and up until July there were very few problems. I had morning sickness that no medication could help, had a small subchorionic-hematoma and that was the worst of it. Then July 1st I found myself not feeling right. I knew I should call the Dr but I put it off.

After many hours of feeling off and on top of things, not feeling my baby move, I called. They sent me for a non-stress test. I was contracting! I had no idea that my “off feelings” were contractions. I felt discomfort, tightness at the most. I expected to know I was contracting. At the hospital I was given an IV, and a shot of Terbutaline sulfate. When my contractions stopped, I was sent home. It was a scary moment to say the least.

Two days later, it happened again! I was back to the hospital for another IV and another shot. This time they didn’t stop with one shot of T.S., so I was given another. It took hours for the contractions to slow. I was sent home with the pill form of T.S. to take for the next 3 days.

Nearly a week went by and everything was fine, but then the contractions started again! This time it was much different. It hurt and I was contracting every 3 minutes. The Dr ordered an fFN test and checked my cervix. I had started to dilate and efface.  The Dr came in and told us my fFN test came back as a positive. I could deliver within the next two weeks. I locked panic filled eyes with my husband and then broke down into tears. How could my baby boy cope with being born so early? The Dr talked to me about the fFN test coming back positive, while being an indicator of something to monitor closely, it did not mean I would deliver in the next two weeks for certain. I believe she told me 1-6 positives result in a birth within two weeks.

I spent the next few days in the hospital, with my husband by my side. We worried, wished, hoped and prayed for our baby to be healthy. I received steroid shots for his little lungs. When finally I stopped contracting as badly I was sent home with orders for bed rest. I spent the next 8 weeks on bed rest. I took Procardia to keep our little guy cooking as long as possible. It helped my contractions but never stopped them completely. My days were boring and long but I learned to cope.

As soon as I stopped taking the Procardia, on doctor's orders at my 36 week appointment, the contractions started to worsen. I had another appointment soon after (due to high blood pressure) and found out  I was dilated and effaced much more then before. At 36 weeks and 5 days I went into labor. I was at the hospital for 5 hours before my labor stalled and I was sent home. My next appointment was the following morning. Soon after coming home my water broke. I was induced later that day and my little man was born at 37 weeks, happy and healthy! I am so grateful to every resource, and every positive vibe and prayer I had sent my way, while I tried to keep little man cooking as long as possible in the baby oven. I send the same to all of you. May your bed-rest story have as happy of an ending as mine.